shit happens

                               SHIT HAPPENS
                       in various world religions
 
 
TAOISM:  Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM:  Confucius say, "Shit happens"

ZEN:  (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM:  If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM:  Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM:  Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS:  Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY:  Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens.  Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:  Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM:  Why does shit always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM:  Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM:  What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM:  What is this shit?

ATHEISM:  I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM:  Who needs this shit?

AZTEC:  Cut out this shit!

QUAKER:  Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM:  No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO:  Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE:  Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM:  Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM:  Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM:  Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:  Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM:  Shit happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM:  This shit has happened before.

WICCA:  Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM:  Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY:  You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS:  Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:  No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES:  No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES:  Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI:  Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM:  This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM:  Our shit is good for you.

EST:  If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM:  Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM:  Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT:  A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS:  Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM:  Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM:  Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.